Stitch › Questions

Deep questions for couples

Deep doesn't have to mean heavy. The best of these take a minute to answer and stay with you for a week: what you each need after a hard day, what you've been meaning to say, how you actually make up after an argument.

They work best one at a time, and when you answer before you've heard the other person's answer. That's the difference between an honest answer and a polite echo.

Honesty

1What's something you've been wanting to tell me but haven't found the moment for?
2What do you need more of right now?
3What's a worry about us you'd like to say out loud?
4What's something you've been carrying alone this month?
5What do you wish I'd ask you about?
6What's a subject we avoid that we probably shouldn't?
7When did you last feel far away from me?
8What's something you've changed your mind about and not told me?
9What do you need from me that's hard to ask for?
10What's the truest thing you could say about how you feel today?

Repair

11What's the best thing we've ever recovered from?
12How do you know when an argument is actually over?
13What do you need in the first ten minutes after a fight?
14What's something I do in conflict that helps?
15What's something I do in conflict that makes it worse?
16What apology have you never quite given?
17What's a pattern we fall into that you'd like to break?
18When did you last feel misread by me?
19What do you wish I understood about how you get angry?
20What's a fight we keep having in different costumes?

One of these, every morning, for the two of you

Stitch sends you and your person the same question each day. You each answer on your own, and neither of you sees the other's answer until you've both written yours. Then you see them side by side. It takes about a minute.

Coming soon to the App Store

Free. No subscription. For couples, long distance, friends, family and co-parents.

Closeness

21What's your favourite ordinary moment with me?
22When did you last want to be closer and didn't say?
23What's the best conversation we've had in bed?
24What makes you feel chosen?
25What's your favourite way to spend an evening with me?

Growth

26Where do you feel stuck?
27What would a braver version of you do this month?
28What's something you're proud of surviving?
29What do you want to get better at as a partner?
30What's a way I've changed that you've had to adjust to?

How to get honest answers

Both of you answer.A question only one person answers is an interview.
Answer before you hear theirs.Otherwise the second answer is mostly a reaction to the first.
One at a time.One good question a day beats thirty in a row. The list will keep.