Questions for couples that actually start a conversation
"How was your day?" gets you "fine". These get you something else. They're written for two people who already know the big facts about each other and would like to hear the small ones: what they noticed, what they're hoping for, what they never quite said out loud.
Pick one. Ask it at dinner, on a walk, or by text. The rule that makes them work: both of you answer, and neither of you gets to just agree with the other.
Noticing
- 1What's a small thing I did this week that made you feel loved?
- 2What did you notice about me today that you didn't mention?
- 3When did you last catch yourself smiling about me?
- 4What's something I do that you'd miss if I stopped?
- 5What mood was I in this morning, and how could you tell?
Origin
- 6What's the first thing you remember thinking about me?
- 7When did you know this was going somewhere?
- 8What did you tell your friends about me at the start?
- 9What's a detail from our first month you still remember clearly?
- 10What were you afraid of back then that turned out fine?
Appreciation
- 11What's something I do for us that goes unthanked?
- 12What's a decision I made that you're grateful for?
- 13When were you last proud of me?
- 14What do I give you that nobody else does?
- 15What's a way I've made your life easier that I don't see?
One of these, every morning, for the two of you
Stitch sends you and your person the same question each day. You each answer on your own, and neither of you sees the other's answer until you've both written yours. Then you see them side by side. It takes about a minute.
Coming soon to the App Store
Free. No subscription. For couples, long distance, friends, family and co-parents.
Future
- 16What do you hope we're doing ten years from today?
- 17Where should we be on this date next year?
- 18What's one thing you want us to try before winter?
- 19What would you like home to feel like in five years?
- 20What do you want to be true about us when we're old?
Closeness
- 21When do you feel closest to me?
- 22What kind of touch means the most to you?
- 23What's a small gesture that always lands?
- 24How do you like being comforted, really?
- 25What's something that makes you feel wanted?
Growth
- 26What's changed most about you in the last three years?
- 27What are you working on in yourself right now?
- 28What's a belief you've quietly outgrown?
- 29What did you used to need that you don't anymore?
- 30What's a hard thing you're better at than you were?
How to get honest answers
- Both of you answer.A question only one person answers is an interview.
- Answer before you hear theirs.Otherwise the second answer is mostly a reaction to the first.
- One at a time.One good question a day beats thirty in a row. The list will keep.