Questions to ask someone you just started dating
The early weeks are when you have the most to find out and the least permission to ask. These sit in the gap between small talk and an interrogation: easy enough for date three, interesting enough that you'll actually remember the answers.
Answer them yourself too. Nothing makes a question feel less like a test than going first.
Getting to know you
- 1What's something you're unreasonably good at?
- 2What did your last really good day look like?
- 3What's a compliment you've never forgotten?
Your life right now
- 4What's taking up the most space in your head this week?
- 5What does a normal Tuesday look like for you?
- 6What are you working on that you actually like?
How you got here
- 7What's a story from your childhood that explains you?
- 8Where did you grow up, and what was it like?
- 9What's the biggest risk you've taken?
What you like
- 10What's your ideal way to spend a Friday night?
- 11Coffee or tea, and how seriously do you take it?
- 12What's a film you'd rewatch tonight?
Us so far
- 13What did you think when we first met?
- 14What made you say yes to this?
- 15What's something you noticed about me early on?
One of these, every morning, for the two of you
Stitch sends you and your person the same question each day. You each answer on your own, and neither of you sees the other's answer until you've both written yours. Then you see them side by side. It takes about a minute.
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Play
- 16If we swapped phones for an hour, what would I learn?
- 17What's your villain origin story?
- 18What would your reality-show edit look like?
What you're after
- 19What does a good relationship look like to you?
- 20What have you learned about yourself from dating?
- 21What's a dealbreaker you're sure about?
Your people
- 22Who knows you best, and how did that happen?
- 23What's your family like on a normal day?
- 24Who would you call first with good news?
The honest ones
- 25What's something you're not great at admitting?
- 26What's a small insecurity you'd cop to?
- 27What's the last thing that genuinely moved you?
Looking ahead
- 28What do you want to do this month that you haven't yet?
- 29Where would you go if we had three days?
- 30What's a thing you'd like to try together?
How to get honest answers
- Both of you answer.A question only one person answers is an interview.
- Answer before you hear theirs.Otherwise the second answer is mostly a reaction to the first.
- One at a time.One good question a day beats thirty in a row. The list will keep.